HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
