how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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