But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
