It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
