To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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