they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
