I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
