everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
