you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
