Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
