Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
