Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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