I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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