At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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