I feel like I'm in dance class right now
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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