I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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