and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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