You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
