i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
