1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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