id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
