Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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