I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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