ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
