I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
