I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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