can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
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