yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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