Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
