It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
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