Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
