It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
what day is it and did you see me today?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
