The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
