Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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