You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
