I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
