Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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