There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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