I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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