how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
where are my eyebrows?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize