Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
