everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You're like the curious george of whores
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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