im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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