I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize