She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
