In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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