i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
So squirting runs in the family.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
