i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
