I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
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