I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
