I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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