I just saw a hot homeless man
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize