my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
