wake up i wanna do it froggy style
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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