its not stalking. its research.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you would pick up someone in the library
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
