just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
