How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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