Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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