In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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