butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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