Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
