I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
