Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
