I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
God, I missed his penis.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
