she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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