i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
