its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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