You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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