I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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