Your face is a jimmy john
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
