He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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