Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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