OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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