Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
