My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
