How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize