so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Mom said you looked used
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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