Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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